Org staff

With the release of the HBO documentary film Going Clear, it seemed like a good time to share some of what it was like to be staff in Scientology in Toronto.

We weren't celebrities.

We weren't rich.

We weren't famous.

We weren't glamorous.

And we weren't powerful.

My stories aren't as dramatic as the ones you read about online, the high-profile, senior executive and celebrity defections. But they're my stories nonetheless.

We were the little people - unacknowledged and largely invisible - the staff members who worked 50, 60, 70 hours a week for pittance while our children were neglected, our families fell apart, and our lives caved in around our ears.

We were the drones, the worker bees, the slave labour who knew naught of work/life balance - and cared even less.

We were passionate and committed - and too exhausted, overworked, and overwhelmed to wonder, What the hell am I doing here?!

So why did I join staff? Because I was naively idealistic.  And I fervently believed in LRH's vision for a better world:

“A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where Man is free to rise to greater heights, are the aims of Scientology.”

I wanted that world for my children and grandchildren!

In the beginning, my life was full. I belonged to a community that welcomed me, took me in, and made me one of them. My life had meaning and purpose - I was working for something greater than myself. But the honeymoon was short-lived.

So why did I stay? Because of KSW.

From HCO Policy Letter of 7 February 1965, Keeping Scientology Working Series 1 (hereafter referred to as KSW) by L. Ron  Hubbard:

"We’re not playing some minor game in Scientology. It isn’t cute or something to do for lack of something better.

The whole agonized future of this planet, every man, woman and child on it, and your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depend on what you do here and now with and in Scientology.

This is a deadly serious activity. And if we miss getting out of the trap now, we may never again have another chance."

And I believed him. The wandering doubt in my eye had been turned into a fixed, dedicated glare. I thought I was saving the planet - and I believed we had very little time to do it in.

Oh, one more reason why I stayed: I was brainwashed (although I didn't believe it, and wouldn't have admitted it even if I'd suspected).