Disconnection

The longer I was in Scientology, the easier it became to disassociate from those who weren't. As time went on, I found I preferred the company of those who shared my beliefs and spoke the same jargon as I did.

Friends I'd had for a lifetime fell by the wayside. We had nothing in common any more. And although they were still kind and friendly, they clearly thought I'd made a mistake by getting involved in Scientology. So it was best to just avoid them and stick with those who understood what I understood.

My bosses were Scientologists. My husband was a Scientologist and worked mainly for and with Scientologists. We only spent time with Scientologists. And I was determined my kids would grow up to be Scientologists.

Don't let anyone tell you that the policy on disconnection was cancelled or fell out of favour with the Org. It remained - and no doubt still remains - a most compelling threat to anyone even thinking of leaving.

I was "handled" any number of times on my parents. My mother was particularly anti-Scientology, and I did the SP/PTS Course because of my connection with her. Towards the end, I was also being "handled" on what seemed a daily basis to disconnect from my husband who had clearly become disaffected and was less and less supportive of my being on staff.

Leaving behind my job and friends and colleagues was unfortunate, but nothing more. I wasn't lost to my family, and was able to reunite with old friends who were delighted to have me back.

But there have been others who had much more to lose: parents, spouses, siblings, children, friends, business associates - everyone. The most notable for me in Toronto was David Stokes. (You can read his story here.) This required insight and commitment far beyond anything that was required of me. And I tip my hat to every one of them.